The Love Walk Confessional Part 1: Overcoming Cynicism

Walking in love is a daily journey from the moment you open your eyes until you close them at night.

The purpose of my blog has been to show "life" behind the scenes, behind the music, the stories that help shape melodies, songs, albums and movements.

I'm starting a new series called "The Love Walk Confessional" capturing moments from life's journey specifically as it relates to our love walk.

Part 1 hits a sore spot. Read on to learn more...

This weekend, I had the opportunity to connect with my peeps at Church on the Rock's Young Adult Ministry - Inspire, led by Boost 101.9's Neal Hopson and his wife, Kim.

Me and the homie, Neal Hopson from Boost 101.9FM

I asked my wife to pray for me before I left the house, and one of the things she prayed was that hearts and minds would be open to the message that God had given me. I drove to the church and meditated on that.

"What is my message?" I thought. "A message of love, of course!"

I know God has given me a message of walking in love. And honestly, I thought I was doing a good job of that. But the Holy Spirit has a way of revealing what's really in our hearts. And it's not always pretty.

Hebrews 4:12 says, "For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart."

Neal asked me to sing "That's When You Love" right before the guest speakers, Mark & Nikki Supak, who serve as Youth Directors at Church on the Rock. I was elated to share my heart through song and hear their message.

Mark & Nikki Supak - Inspire Guest Speakers

Let me just say the whole night was awesome, from the praise and worship by Jai and her band to the DJ, to meeting and greeting everyone, but the Word rocked me to the core. I was challenged and changed forever.

Mark and Nikki spoke so passionately about relationships and how it's important that we should constantly become "the one" for our spouse or future mate. They went on to mention that it was about having the right perspective concerning our relationships, embracing those seasons of preparation and maintaining purity.

Mark shared an amazing story that really hit home. He mentioned that there was a time in his old church where they had about 4 youth pastors in a short amount of time. There was a new one there, and Mark was just fed up. He mentioned how he'd become so critical and cynical of the guy, the service, what was wrong with it and so forth. He went on and I felt that check in my heart. "Oh no...this is me (I said to myself). I've become this person."

I began to pray and ask the Lord to heal me from this. I don't want to walk around with a chip on my shoulder just because some things hadn't changed in the timing in which I wanted them to. (Sidebar: Shoutout to Nikki Supak for speaking on the season of preparation. Whew! I hope they recorded last night's message because you guys gotta hear this thing in its entirety.)

Malachi 3:3 says, "He will sit like a refiner of silver, burning away the dross, He will purify the Levites, refining them like gold and silver, so that they may once again offer acceptable sacrifices to the Lord."

This is exactly what the Lord is doing inside of me. He is refining me by exposing what isn't like Him. Cynicism and love are like oil and water. They don't mix.

How could I sing about walking in love and hold this in my heart? I can't, and I won't.

So my personal challenge is to:

1. Acknowledge that this cynicism is here but it doesn't have to stay.

2. Ask the Holy Spirit to show me the root of it and aggressively pull it up.

3. Feed my spirit with the Word of God and renew my mind daily by declaring the truth.
4. Find ways that I can serve God and others.

5. Walk in love.

After reading this blog, is this something that you're currently dealing with? What are your confessionals? What steps are you taking to walk in love? I'd love to hear your feedback. Feel free to share your comments below.