Sunday, January 4, 2015

Never Judge a Book by Its Cover


I was a vagabond, emotionally, for years, desperately searching for love and acceptance.

I had so many voids that longed for attention, and I spent countless hours finding what I could to fill them.

Over the years, God used several people to sow seeds of love and encouragement but one conversation, in particular, became a destiny defining moment.

We used to sing a song at my church called "Never Would've Made It" by Marvin Sapp, and it resonated strongly in our congregation. 

A few weeks after leading the song, one of my good friends invited me over to talk about music but the conversation got real when he asked me why that song meant so much to me. 

I was going to give him my typical, generic response, but I heard the Lord say clearly "It's ok to talk about it."

I shared with him that I was molested as a kid, and it scarred me for years. I grew up with a distorted view of my identity and what real love was. 

I didn't trust anyone, not even myself. I was holding onto so much hatred and unforgiveness but pretended as if everything was ok. 

I felt like I was damaged goods and that no one would ever love me the way I wanted to be loved. 

I believed the lies of the enemy that said I would never get married and never have any children of my own. I was in a self-imposed prison but longed for freedom.

That day, I opened up and shared my heart in a way I'd never done so before. 

He told me he understood the pain I was going through and shared that he, too, was molested as a kid. I was floored! He didn't look like a typical "victim." That's when I learned "never judge a book by its cover."

That conversation was life changing and freed me up in ways I couldn't explain. I didn't have to hide my scars anymore. I could finally be free just like I heard so many preachers and singers say. 

That conversation was also fuel for writing this album. I set out on a mission to let the world know that there is a love greater than your past and loves you unconditionally. 

No longer would I walk under the moniker "Hurt people, hurt people." No, this was where the "hurt and the Healer collide."

If you've carried this "dirty little secret" all your life, I've come to set you free with these three words: God loves you. You are NOT the product of the past. You are free. You are healed, and you are LOVED! 

Happy Independence Day! :)