The Love Walk Confessional Part 1: Overcoming Cynicism

Walking in love is a daily journey from the moment you open your eyes until you close them at night.

The purpose of my blog has been to show "life" behind the scenes, behind the music, the stories that help shape melodies, songs, albums and movements.

I'm starting a new series called "The Love Walk Confessional" capturing moments from life's journey specifically as it relates to our love walk.

Part 1 hits a sore spot. Read on to learn more...

This weekend, I had the opportunity to connect with my peeps at Church on the Rock's Young Adult Ministry - Inspire, led by Boost 101.9's Neal Hopson and his wife, Kim.

Me and the homie, Neal Hopson from Boost 101.9FM

I asked my wife to pray for me before I left the house, and one of the things she prayed was that hearts and minds would be open to the message that God had given me. I drove to the church and meditated on that.

"What is my message?" I thought. "A message of love, of course!"

I know God has given me a message of walking in love. And honestly, I thought I was doing a good job of that. But the Holy Spirit has a way of revealing what's really in our hearts. And it's not always pretty.

Hebrews 4:12 says, "For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart."

Neal asked me to sing "That's When You Love" right before the guest speakers, Mark & Nikki Supak, who serve as Youth Directors at Church on the Rock. I was elated to share my heart through song and hear their message.

Mark & Nikki Supak - Inspire Guest Speakers

Let me just say the whole night was awesome, from the praise and worship by Jai and her band to the DJ, to meeting and greeting everyone, but the Word rocked me to the core. I was challenged and changed forever.

Mark and Nikki spoke so passionately about relationships and how it's important that we should constantly become "the one" for our spouse or future mate. They went on to mention that it was about having the right perspective concerning our relationships, embracing those seasons of preparation and maintaining purity.

Mark shared an amazing story that really hit home. He mentioned that there was a time in his old church where they had about 4 youth pastors in a short amount of time. There was a new one there, and Mark was just fed up. He mentioned how he'd become so critical and cynical of the guy, the service, what was wrong with it and so forth. He went on and I felt that check in my heart. "Oh no...this is me (I said to myself). I've become this person."

I began to pray and ask the Lord to heal me from this. I don't want to walk around with a chip on my shoulder just because some things hadn't changed in the timing in which I wanted them to. (Sidebar: Shoutout to Nikki Supak for speaking on the season of preparation. Whew! I hope they recorded last night's message because you guys gotta hear this thing in its entirety.)

Malachi 3:3 says, "He will sit like a refiner of silver, burning away the dross, He will purify the Levites, refining them like gold and silver, so that they may once again offer acceptable sacrifices to the Lord."

This is exactly what the Lord is doing inside of me. He is refining me by exposing what isn't like Him. Cynicism and love are like oil and water. They don't mix.

How could I sing about walking in love and hold this in my heart? I can't, and I won't.

So my personal challenge is to:

1. Acknowledge that this cynicism is here but it doesn't have to stay.

2. Ask the Holy Spirit to show me the root of it and aggressively pull it up.

3. Feed my spirit with the Word of God and renew my mind daily by declaring the truth.
4. Find ways that I can serve God and others.

5. Walk in love.

After reading this blog, is this something that you're currently dealing with? What are your confessionals? What steps are you taking to walk in love? I'd love to hear your feedback. Feel free to share your comments below.

The Life of a Love Walker

I love journaling. It's fun; it's one of my favorite pastimes and is very therapeutic. 

A lot goes on in the mind of a creative, and journaling allows me to share my thoughts and feelings in ways I have difficulty conveying through spoken word.

Each one of my journals represents a season. I have journals that are bright and colorful and others that are simple and one dimensional. 

One of my favorites is a black journal with a black and white picture of an off beaten road in the middle of the forest. When I saw it, I knew in my heart that it would capture my next season of writings. 

That picture represented "the road less traveled" from the famous poem by Robert Frost. 

When I embarked upon writing and recording "The Real Love Project", I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I knew this would be a life-changing album, but I wasn't prepared for how greatly it would impact me first. 

The first single, "That's When You Love", paints a picture of someone taking a "love walk." He or she acknowledges his or her pain, wrestles with letting it go, but boldly declares in the face of hurt and shame:

When it's tough,

When it's unfair,

That's when you love

That's when you love

Oh, when it's uncomfortable,

Inconvenient,

That's when you love

That's when you love

The life of a love walker isn't always easy, but it's worth it. 

I wrote this song for you, for me and for anyone who dares to take the road less traveled. 

Imagine what life would be like if we all took this journey together, one step at a time. 

The Writing on the Wall

My wife and I recently invited some friends over for dinner and to hang out. It was awesome! We've been doing this more often and it's refreshing to see our friends laugh, sing and share what's going on in their lives.

Each get together has a theme and this particular one was called "Puerto Rican Night" in honor of the culture and for some of our friends who are Puerto Rican/Hispanic descent.

There have been some amazing conversations at these get togethers. One of the most commonly discussed topics is how each of us met our spouse or girlfriend (or boyfriend).

One of the couples included our little brother/friend, Ryan, and his girlfriend, Ardella. Ryan is one of the CRAZIEST people you'll ever meet! He has one of those personalities where you'll fall out laughing at his jokes even from just meeting him. We were walking down memory lane and he reminded me of a moment when he and I were roommates. 

I was in the early stages of working on "The Real Love Project" and we would often have vibe sessions with him on drums or guitar and me singing or playing the keys. He mentioned how I was a very artistic person and that one day when he came home there were sheets of paper with writings on them all over the house. He said he was scared at first! LOL! He thought I'd lost it but when he looked at each paper he saw that they were lyrics to songs.

I really appreciated him for reminding me of that, especially since I've been wanting to document the journey leading up to the release of the album.

I'm a very visual person. This was a creative way for me to express my thoughts and keep the music "in front of me." As the songs evolved, I gradually started taking down the sheets of paper. Our other brother and friend, Ed Meeks, reminded me that some of them started to fall down off the wall. Oooohh! The symbolism!! :)

I took down the last sheet of paper before moving out of that apartment. That was almost two years ago.

Moments like these are priceless to me. I'm loving how this story continues to unfold.

In one of my upcoming blogs, I'll explain to you guys my experience of actually "living" in the studio. Stay tuned!

I may be a tad bit "extra" as my wife says sometimes (lol) but have any of you guys ever done anything like this? No? lol! But if you HAVE, share with me your experience in the comments section below.

Love y'all!

Kenny

THRILLER!

You've often heard me mention battling and overcoming fear in previous blog posts. I guess I kinda grew up a "scaredy cat" after watching all those scary movies as a kid. Lol. Each one was scary in its own right but probably the scariest of them all was a short movie in the form of Michael Jackson's "Thriller."

I don't know what it is about that video but that mug used to creep me out! And if I'll be completely honest, I still haven't been able to watch it all the way through without squirming. Smh.

Last week, I was going through my Twitter feed and came across an interesting post from an organization I follow called GodOverPorn. It said "Ladies, every guy says 'I'm not like other guys.' but their actions will speak louder than their words." Whoa.

I thought that was really cool and responded. "Michael Jackson said the same thing in the Thriller video and you see what happened. LOL!"

If you've watched the video, you know that Michael Jackson says that infamous phrase "I'm not like other guys" and the scene flashes to the full moon. He crouches in pain. She asks him what's wrong and he looks up with yellow eyes and a werewolf face. What a crazy way to end a date!

The scene that's being shown is actually a movie that the real Michael Jackson and his date are watching. She's scared but Michael's loving the movie and the fact that she's frightened. They leave the movie theater, walk down the street, past a graveyard and end up in an alley surrounded by a bunch of zombies. Michael and his date look around in fear, but Michael turns around and ends up being one of them.

Now....I could get realllllllly deep and preach a few sermons off this one scene, but I won't. lol.....At least....not right now. ;-)

BUT I will say this, ain't it funny how Michael was a "monster" all along?! Hello! Red flags and warning signs! Sorry, I digress.

As we prepare to release my new music video and single for "That's When You Love", I can only imagine the conversations Berry Gordy and Michael must've had when shooting that video and recording this song. Did they know "Thriller" would be this huge!? In 1985, it was recorded by The Guiness Book of World Records as the best selling album of all time with over 65 million albums sold worldwide. WOW!

This may sound like a lofty goal but that's how I feel about "That's When You Love" and "The Real Love Project." I wholeheartedly believe that this album is going to change the world, not only in records sold but lives changed. It has and still is changing mine.

Our worship team sang Hillsong's "Inside Out" and it made me think of all the changes I've been going through. When I got serious about starting a new life, I asked God to get rid of the "monsters" in me. To deal with those scary things that for years I didn't want anyone to see. The things I tried to hide. But it's so true. What's inside of you will eventually come out of you. And I didn't want to be known as a monster. I wanted to be who God created me to be- a real man with a tender heart that loves Jesus, his wife and family and shared that love with everyone he met.

I didn't want to be one of those people that just looks the part. I wanted to be the part. And love is the only way that happens.

What monster is standing in your way of opening the door to love? Can you see yourself on the other side of that opposition? If so, what would life be like if you let love in today?