Never Judge a Book by Its Cover

I was a vagabond, emotionally, for years, desperately searching for love and acceptance.

I had so many voids that longed for attention, and I spent countless hours finding what I could to fill them.

Over the years, God used several people to sow seeds of love and encouragement but one conversation, in particular, became a destiny defining moment.

We used to sing a song at my church called "Never Would've Made It" by Marvin Sapp, and it resonated strongly in our congregation. 

A few weeks after leading the song, one of my good friends invited me over to talk about music but the conversation got real when he asked me why that song meant so much to me. 

I was going to give him my typical, generic response, but I heard the Lord say clearly "It's ok to talk about it."

I shared with him that I was molested as a kid, and it scarred me for years. I grew up with a distorted view of my identity and what real love was. 

I didn't trust anyone, not even myself. I was holding onto so much hatred and unforgiveness but pretended as if everything was ok. 

I felt like I was damaged goods and that no one would ever love me the way I wanted to be loved. 

I believed the lies of the enemy that said I would never get married and never have any children of my own. I was in a self-imposed prison but longed for freedom.

That day, I opened up and shared my heart in a way I'd never done so before. 

He told me he understood the pain I was going through and shared that he, too, was molested as a kid. I was floored! He didn't look like a typical "victim." That's when I learned "never judge a book by its cover."

That conversation was life changing and freed me up in ways I couldn't explain. I didn't have to hide my scars anymore. I could finally be free just like I heard so many preachers and singers say. 

That conversation was also fuel for writing this album. I set out on a mission to let the world know that there is a love greater than your past and loves you unconditionally. 

No longer would I walk under the moniker "Hurt people, hurt people." No, this was where the "hurt and the Healer collide."

If you've carried this "dirty little secret" all your life, I've come to set you free with these three words: God loves you. You are NOT the product of the past. You are free. You are healed, and you are LOVED! 

Happy Independence Day! :)

Boy Meets Girl - A Shoe Love Story

It’s our 18^th month anniversary of marriage, and we believe it’s important to continue dating each other while you’re married, even if it’s simple (cues Lauryn Hill’s “The Sweetest Thing”). 

Relationships are supposed to fun, challenging and life-giving. 

Maybe you're in a rut and looking to spice things up. We have a few, easy steps (for husbands and wives) that will keep the flame burning in your heart  and marriage.  It goes a little something like this…

Try a coffee date. It's simple and sweet.

Girls love flowers.

Wear some nice cologne (preferably her favorite scent that drives her crazy!

Make him say "WOW!" when you step out of the car.

Allow him to see your inner and natural beauty.

Listen intently and stay engaged in the conversation.

Speak each other's love language. 

Hold each other close and gaze into each other's eyes

Walk hand in hand, heart to heart, forever.

Need a few more tips? Try these:

A Guys's Guide to Dating His Wife

1. Be romantic.

2. Be present.

3. Be FLY!

4. Be yourself.

How to Date Your Husband...for life.

1. Be open

2. Be flirty

3. Be beautiful inside and out

4. Just be… allow him to lead. It’s your time to relax and savor the moment.

We'd love to hear your ideas for dating your spouse. Feel free to share them for a chance to win a new pair of Testosterone shoes, courtesy of Bronx Diba Luchiny Shoes!

Enter here for a chance to win a pair of Testosterone Shoes like Kenny is wearing.
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10,000 Reasons

"Bless the Lord, Oh my soul!

Oh my soul!

Worship His Holy Name.

Sing like never before,

Oh my soul.

I'll worship Your Holy name!"

The aforementioned lyrics are from a very familiar worship song by Matt Redman entitled "10,000 Reasons (Bless the Lord)." Like many songs, I'd heard this one a hundred times, thought it was a nice but hadn't really embraced it as my heart song. All of that changed when Christia and I were in San Diego on our "baby moon" and we visited The Rock Church.

As we walked through the doors of the sanctuary, you could just feel the love and presence of God even before the worship team began. Every song on their set list was awesome! When they started playing the introduction to "10,000 Reasons," the song came alive in me, and I've been singing it ever since. 

Like many of you, we have so much to be thankful for. But I think sometimes we forget to count our blessings while we're on the journey.

Listed below are a few of the 10,000+ reasons I bless the Lord:

1. I am loved.
God reminds me of this simple, but profound truth everyday through the Word, in worship, through my marriage and other godly relationships (family, friends, co-workers).

2. I am forgiven.
For years, I lived under an umbrella of shame, oppression and defeat but those layers are coming off. He's given me beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness (Isaiah 61:3b).

3. I am free.
My heart has been set on fire, opening my eyes to the truth and beauty around me and in me. Instead of living in fear, I am free to live, I am free to love, I am free to dance, I am free to sing and on and on! (If you've ever been in any form of bondage, you know freedom feels so good!)

What are your 10,000 reasons? Take a moment and share them with us. Feel free to post them in the comments section below. Let's see if we can actually get 10,000 reasons posted! :)

THRILLER!

You've often heard me mention battling and overcoming fear in previous blog posts. I guess I kinda grew up a "scaredy cat" after watching all those scary movies as a kid. Lol. Each one was scary in its own right but probably the scariest of them all was a short movie in the form of Michael Jackson's "Thriller."

I don't know what it is about that video but that mug used to creep me out! And if I'll be completely honest, I still haven't been able to watch it all the way through without squirming. Smh.

Last week, I was going through my Twitter feed and came across an interesting post from an organization I follow called GodOverPorn. It said "Ladies, every guy says 'I'm not like other guys.' but their actions will speak louder than their words." Whoa.

I thought that was really cool and responded. "Michael Jackson said the same thing in the Thriller video and you see what happened. LOL!"

If you've watched the video, you know that Michael Jackson says that infamous phrase "I'm not like other guys" and the scene flashes to the full moon. He crouches in pain. She asks him what's wrong and he looks up with yellow eyes and a werewolf face. What a crazy way to end a date!

The scene that's being shown is actually a movie that the real Michael Jackson and his date are watching. She's scared but Michael's loving the movie and the fact that she's frightened. They leave the movie theater, walk down the street, past a graveyard and end up in an alley surrounded by a bunch of zombies. Michael and his date look around in fear, but Michael turns around and ends up being one of them.

Now....I could get realllllllly deep and preach a few sermons off this one scene, but I won't. lol.....At least....not right now. ;-)

BUT I will say this, ain't it funny how Michael was a "monster" all along?! Hello! Red flags and warning signs! Sorry, I digress.

As we prepare to release my new music video and single for "That's When You Love", I can only imagine the conversations Berry Gordy and Michael must've had when shooting that video and recording this song. Did they know "Thriller" would be this huge!? In 1985, it was recorded by The Guiness Book of World Records as the best selling album of all time with over 65 million albums sold worldwide. WOW!

This may sound like a lofty goal but that's how I feel about "That's When You Love" and "The Real Love Project." I wholeheartedly believe that this album is going to change the world, not only in records sold but lives changed. It has and still is changing mine.

Our worship team sang Hillsong's "Inside Out" and it made me think of all the changes I've been going through. When I got serious about starting a new life, I asked God to get rid of the "monsters" in me. To deal with those scary things that for years I didn't want anyone to see. The things I tried to hide. But it's so true. What's inside of you will eventually come out of you. And I didn't want to be known as a monster. I wanted to be who God created me to be- a real man with a tender heart that loves Jesus, his wife and family and shared that love with everyone he met.

I didn't want to be one of those people that just looks the part. I wanted to be the part. And love is the only way that happens.

What monster is standing in your way of opening the door to love? Can you see yourself on the other side of that opposition? If so, what would life be like if you let love in today?

The OVERCOMER Series

I'm a big fan of sharing testimonies and stories of triumph. 

I remember going through some very difficult times and wanting so desperately to hear real stories of how people made it through. 

It's sad but it seems like sometimes those stories are few and far in between. It's time to change that. I'm a part of the movement to facilitate that change. 

You've heard me mention this before but it's true. "We overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony," (Revelations 12:11). 

Don't be afraid to share your testimony. In fact, don't be afraid to admit where you are in the journey of life. I think many of us don't want to talk about our weaknesses for fear of abandonment, rejection, etc. But let me encourage you…what you don't confront, you can't change. That applies to mistakes from the past, trying to see dreams and purpose fulfilled and so on. 

I am very passionate about this. I was held in bondage and a prisoner and slave to sin, more than you'll ever know. I have witnessed the power and love of our resurrected Jesus Christ in my life, in my mind, in my body, in my marriage and in my relationships. I'm living proof that it works!

After speaking with many of you and getting feedback from my previous posts, I was inspired to create an "Overcomer Series" with individuals who have overcome various obstacles and are passionate about sharing them. The very thing you're facing right now…someone has overcome it. Hearing these stories will build your faith and we all need faith building on an on-going basis. 

If you'd like to be a part of the "Overcomer Series," message me. I'm looking to present these stories in various forms: blogging, video, pictures and more. 

"To everything, there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven," (Ecclesiastes 3:1) It's time to speak out fam. 

For an extra bonus, check out this video of what happens when you share your heart in love. 

Doing Life Differently

A few weeks ago, I had some time to chill after church and rest after a busy weekend.

As I laid down in silence, out the blue, I thought of the deck of playing cards in the drawer in our prayer room at home. It had been a long time since I looked at them, but it dawned on me that I needed to celebrate a victory. It's been two years since I indulged in pornography and those cards represented a concept I learned at a men's retreat - doing life differently.

This retreat was for guys, just like me, who were struggling with sexual addiction or compulsion issues. All of us were Christian men. Many of us were faithfully serving in the church and community. Many of us were married or in my case at the time, months from getting married.

I know it's still taboo to discuss a topic like this, especially in the church, but I firmly believe that we "overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony"  (Revelations 12:11). Sin and shame love to hide in the dark, but true healing comes when we expose them to the light and love of the Lord.

In order to really get this story, let me start from the beginning...

I grew up in a very loving, Christian home to two wonderful parents. My sister and I were taught the importance of education, hard work, perseverance and love. We didn't want for anything but we weren't spoiled...well, maybe just a little bit. :)

My father had the "birds and bees" talk with me one day while working in the yard, one of his favorite past times. It was awkward, of course, hearing your father talk about sex, especially as a kid, but I'm glad he took the time to say it.

My adolescent years sucked! lol. I was chubby, wasn't good at sports but really good in school. I made really good grades and was starting to learn how to play the piano really well.

I remember being in the 7th grade and wanting to hang around the "cool guys." All of the girls loved them. The guys wanted to be like them. And they had what we now call "swag" back then.

I began hanging out with them and was invited to a Halloween party that a community organization was hosting. Some of the guys were heading to a sleepover afterwards. I asked my parents if I could go and they let me.

We had junk food for days, watched music videos, played video games, talked about the party and had a good time.

I remember one of the guys coming over to me and saying "Hey Kenny. We got this tape we wanna show you, but you can't tell nobody about it." I was like "Ok. I won't." They said. "No, you gotta promise you won't tell nobody." I said "I'm for real. I won't."

They put the VHS tape in and on the screen was a scene that opened the doors to images, thoughts, feelings and urges that I was too young to understand or comprehend.

That night was the beginning of a very dark journey that took almost 18 years to break free from.

In Part 2 of "Doing Life Differently," I'll tell you how that one scene, that graphic image, began as a seed and grew into a raging monster.

If you were exposed to pornography at a young age, how old were you?

I know some of you reading this may be ashamed to talk about it, but let me be the first to tell you that talking through it is how you get THROUGH it.

THAT'S MY JAM! - Love Songs

You know that feeling you get when hear your favorite song? Or better yet, your favorite song that you haven't heard in a long time? Yup...that one. 

I found my old cd case this week and one of the CDs was from one of my favorite male vocalists - Will Downing. He and Rachelle Ferrell recorded one of the best love songs of all time - "Nothing Has Ever Felt Like This." I played it this morning on the way to work and thought of some other love songs that I really enjoy.

They are as follows (but in no particular order):

1. Love Came Down - Kari Jobe

We sang this one for our Christmas program at church and it's still resonating with us.

2. 143 - Musiq Soulchild

Musiq is one of the most creative songwriters of our generation. I love the storytelling aspect of this song.

3. Wanted - Hunter Hayes

My wife actually put me on to Hunter Hayes' music and I've been a fan ever since. The lyrics...man...

4. The Power of Love - Huey Lewis & The News

This is an "oldie but goodie" that has recently piqued my interest. May even do an updated cover of it. ;)

5. I Love Your Presence - Bethel Church

I'm captivated from the first chord of this song and the bridge is from another familiar song. Do you know what it is?

6. Let's Stay Together - Al Green

My wife and I had our first dance to this song when we started dating. :) And who doesn't love some Al Green?!

7. Treasure - Bruno Mars

One of our favorite songs from one of the greatest performers of our time! (i.e. My wife is saved in my phone as Treasure, so that just tells ya right there...#jussayin)

8. Nothing Has Ever Felt Like This - Will Downing & Rachelle Farrell

In my opinion, this is one of the best duets of all time. I usually vibe to the groove first, but the lyrics got me. I've heard this song a million times and I guess I never really paid attention to what they were really saying. #grownfolksmusic

9. How He Loves Us - Jesus Culture arrangement

I've heard this song performed by many different artists, but there is something really special on this arrangement...

10. YOUR Love Song

Love songs mean different things to different people. What's YOUR favorite love song and why? Post the link or lyrics if possible!